The major concept of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is that emotions are the key to a person’s identity. 

Most people view emotions as important factors in day-to-day living, but EFT takes things one step further and bases itself on the premise that emotions make up who we are, as individuals. 

This type of therapy was developed in the 1980s alongside the research associated with attachment theory. EFT can help you to identify your feelings in order to actively make sense of them, and possibly change them. 

Let’s take a closer look at the key principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy, so you can determine if it’s the right solution for you. 

Understanding the Phases

Emotionally Focused Therapy is typically broken down into three phases. 

Phase one involves digging deeper into the emotional issues you’re facing. What’s causing your problem, where does it stem from, and how do you perceive it? Once you have a better understanding of the issue, you can start to change that perception. This is the stage of assessing and de-escalating. 

That’s where phase two begins. 

In this phase, you’ll work with your therapist to replace negative experiences with positive ones. You’ll change patterns of interactions in your relationships, which can help to reduce conflict and allow you to experience more fulfilling connections in your day-to-day life. 

You can then move into phase three, allowing you to create a plan for the future so you can continue to find success when it comes to handling and understanding your emotional identity. A big part of the success rate of EFT is how you continue to use the learned principles once you’ve gone through your sessions with a therapist. 

How EFT Works

Most EFT sessions begin with a therapist trying to develop a comfortable relationship with their client. It’s important that you feel like you can be open and vulnerable in your sessions, which can take time. There’s no rush when it comes to establishing this relationship, since EFT is very person-centered. 

Once you’ve warmed up to the idea of discussing your problems with your therapist, you’ll see that your emotions will be validated. Your therapist will use several techniques with you, including: 

  • Enhancing vulnerable emotions
  • Evocative responding
  • Empathic speculation
  • Restructuring
  • Encouragement
  • Redirecting
  • Lasting support

EFT can feel intense at times, especially when your therapist is using techniques like evocative responding. This is a process that allows them to “push” you on sensitive subjects so they can get more information or a clearer picture of your experience. 

The restructuring process can also be difficult at times, especially if you’ve believed certain things about yourself and your emotions for a long time. However, it’s through that “struggle” that you can really start to see things differently. You’ll be able to develop a deeper understanding of what your emotions really mean and how they impact your life. 

What You’ll Take Away

When you’re able to identify and fully experience your emotions, you’ll also start to accept them, explore them, transform them, and use them in more positive ways.  

Being able to flexibly manage your emotions on a daily basis is one of the most important things you’ll take away from EFT. This type of therapy was originally used to combat depression. However, because it’s so effective, it’s now used to help with everything from anxiety to childhood abuse and neglect. 

There’s so much more to talk about when it comes to the principles and practices of Emotionally Focused Therapy. If you’re wondering whether it’s right for you or want to know more about what to expect, feel free to contact me for information, or to set up an appointment.