Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is becoming more popular with couples across the country, thanks to its success rate. Research has shown that around 90% of couples who go through EFT show improvements in their relationships.
EFT can help couples who are struggling with anything from communication to emotional bonding issues.
It’s unique in that it’s a highly-structured system, consisting of three different stages. Those stages are de-escalation, restructuring, and consolidation.
Let’s dive a little deeper into the stages of EFT and discover how it can help your relationship.
The Stages of EFT
During the de-escalation stage of Emotionally Focused Therapy, you’ll identify negative patterns within the relationship that consistently cause conflict. You’ll start to view those behaviors as areas of disconnect in your relationship.
You might have emotional attachment issues that stem from childhood that could be affecting your communication and intimacy now. As you work through those issues, you’ll learn to be more vulnerable and open with each other.
The restructuring stage helps with that. You’ll learn how to effectively share your emotions with your partner without the fear of judgment. You’ll create a stronger emotional bond, and learn how to respond to your partner’s needs effectively.
Finally, during the consolidation stage, you’ll work on new communication strategies that are more effective. You’ll practice different skills with the help of a therapist, so you can utilize those skills when your sessions are over.
How Will Your Relationship Benefit?
How Will Your Relationship Benefit? If you’re not sure whether EFT is right for you, it’s important to consider the potential benefits. Your relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be on rocky ground for you and your partner to experience a greater sense of closeness and communication.
EFT can help you to re-organize your emotional responses. You’ll have a better balance within your relationship, especially when it comes to the needs and wants of both you and your partner, and how those things are communicated.
You’ll also become more aware of your partner’s needs. For many people, that’s a major struggle in relationships. However, it’s usually due to a lack of vulnerability. EFT will allow you both to open up in a safe space, so you’ll become more in-tune with each other’s emotional needs. When you have that awareness, you’ll even be able to strengthen your bond when you’re arguing, because you can listen and work through your problems more effectively.
What to Expect
Unlike many other forms of therapy, EFT is largely guided by the therapist. They play more of an active role and will guide you through each session while helping you both recognize different behaviors and negative patterns that could be impacting your relationship.
It can be challenging. EFT requires both members of the relationship to want to actively participate. You’ll have to peel back layers to get to the root cause of negative patterns, and that’s not always easy, but often necessary.
If either person isn’t willing to participate or take EFT seriously, it won’t be as effective. It’s important to talk to each other about what you want from the process, and what changes you’d like to see in your relationship before you get started.
As you can see, there are many aspects to EFT that can have a positive impact on your relationship. It’s a short-term solution that provides long-term results.
If you’re interested in learning more about how Emotionally Focused Therapy can help your relationship or as an individual, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have, especially if you’re on the fence as to whether it’s the right type of therapy for your relationship.