Chances are, you’ve heard of the “Five Love Languages” at least once. Maybe you know yours, and at least have an idea of what your partner’s language is. However, many people don’t know their love language, and others don’t even believe in it.
Whether you adopt a “love language” mindset or not, it’s important to know that everyone is different when it comes to how they handle giving and receiving support.
Some people love being supportive. They’ll often go out of their way to be there for you—perhaps even to a fault, if they’re more concerned with what you want than their own well-being.
Other people need to receive support more often to feel loved and valued.
You might think you know what your partner needs, but have you ever considered whether they prefer giving or receiving support? What do they think about support in a relationship, in general?
Knowing their preferences can help to lessen conflict and contention in your relationship. It can even bring you closer together and boost intimacy. Let’s take a closer look at why this preference is so important.
How to Know If Your Partner Is Supportive
You probably have a good idea whether your partner shows love by supporting you. However, if you’re not sure just how much it means to them, some of the signs that they enjoy being supportive include:
- They truly listen
- They make time for you
- If you have certain interests, they want to learn about them
- They let you do the things you love
- You can be yourself around them
Many people think you have to be going through something challenging to see how supportive a partner is, but that’s not necessarily true. People who prefer giving support will find ways of doing it as often as possible.
From a love language standpoint, a supportive partner likely has the language of Acts of Service. That doesn’t mean they always need to be doing something for you to show their love, but it’s the best way they know how.
When Your Partner Prefers Receiving
When Your Partner Prefers ReceivingRelationships aren’t always 50/50 when it comes to giving and receiving support. You’ll go through different situations as a couple—including plenty of ups and downs. You might have to give more support sometimes, and they might have to step in and support you at other times.
However, in some relationships, one partner might need more support than the other. In extreme cases, this could be a kind of codependency. However, most people just want to feel uplifted, understood, and valued.
If your partner tends to feel better when they know you’re truly listening to them or offering to be there for them, chances are they need your support more than you know.
What Does It Have to Do With Conflict?
So, how can knowing your partner’s preference on giving and receiving lessen contact? It all goes back to the love languages. Your partner could be showing you their love in ways you don’t fully understand or vice versa. Knowing their preference for giving and receiving will give you a better idea of their language and how to “speak” it.
If you don’t know your partner’s preference, it could lead to tension in the relationship.
For example, if they need regular support and you aren’t offering it, they might start to think they don’t matter or that you don’t value them or your relationship. If they want to give support and you tend to be fiercely independent, they might feel like they’re not needed or that you would rather do things without them.
Communication is key, no matter what. However, understanding your partner’s preferences and how they express/receive love will make a big difference and can reduce conflict areas in your relationship.
Reach out to me if you are ready to begin the process of learning more about your partner with couples counseling.