There are countless types of couples therapy. Some are more general, while others are designed to deal with specific relationship issues. It’s important that couples take a look at their needs and what they might be going through before deciding on the right approach.
One type of couples therapy you might not have considered yet is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
The goal of EFT isn’t necessarily to fix a specific problem and send you on your way. Rather, it’s creating real change in your relationship, so you can learn how to manage conflict now and in the future. These lifelong skills will help to strengthen your bond and improve your relationship for years to come.
Let’s dive a little deeper into what EFT for couples looks like, and why it might be the right solution for your relationship.
Consider Your Situation
EFT works well for couples who seem to be caught in a never-ending cycle of negative patterns. Do you feel disconnected and distanced from your partner? Do you have a hard time communicating with each other? Maybe you fall back into the same patterns every time you disagree about something.
If that sounds familiar, EFT can help by fostering a more secure bond between you and your partner. Deepening your attachment is a fantastic way to better understand these negative patterns and eventually find freedom from them.
What to Expect
Emotionally Focused Therapy doesn’t try to dismiss your feelings. Rather, it helps you develop a greater understanding of your own emotions, as well as your partner’s. Your emotions are often directly connected to your needs and wants, but those things can sometimes be hard to untangle on your own. An EFT therapist can help.
So, what exactly can you expect from EFT therapy?
You’ll go through the therapy in different stages, including:
- De-escalation
- Restructuring
- Application
During the de-escalation stage, you will get a better understanding of the negative patterns in your relationship. Your therapist will help you create a “map” of your partnership to determine how you all get feeling disconnected. You will begin to understand that the negative cycle is the “enemy” who takes over the couple relationship.
Restructuring is all about digging deeper into your emotions. You’ll learn how to open up with honesty and vulnerability. You will understand that even your negative interactions are just desperate attempts to close the distance in your relationship.
Application, of course, is using what you’ve learned to feel more connected to your partner—not just in therapy, but in life. It is about softening, learning how to have different, healthier conversations, and rebuilding the emotional safety that each of you longs for. You relearn how to counter each other for emotional reassurance and trust.
Is EFT Right for You?
If you feel like you and your partner are stuck in a negative cycle in your relationship, or you feel like you can’t communicate effectively, EFT can help.
It can also help if you’re struggling with your own emotions. Maybe you’re scared of opening up. Or, you have a hard time reacting to things in appropriate ways. If that’s the case, EFT can help both you and your partner better understand and express your emotions. That leads to a more communicative, stronger relationship. You’ll feel more satisfied, more trusting, and more intimate with your partner.
If you’re interested in learning more about EFT, feel free to contact me. It’s a therapy with long-term results if you’re willing to apply the skills you learn. Not only can it help your relationship, but it can help you as an individual to better understand your emotions and how they connect to your behaviors. Contact me at 561/866-6607 or elizbocaraton@gmail.com