Emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) is designed to help uncover and process the emotions that are underneath and the cause of our behaviors. In EFT, we explore current and past relationships that have impacted a person throughout life. For individuals, it’s a great way to work through past traumas and develop the necessary skills to have healthy, lasting relationships.
EFT is also beneficial for couples and families for many of the same reasons. It can help to break negative patterns and cycles that could be damaging relationships and attachments.
But, obviously, no one wants to be in therapy forever. The goal for almost every type of mental health treatment is to eventually “end” with empowerment, so individuals can move forward with their lives in healthy ways.
EFT is no different. There’s an end goal in mind, and skills you’ll be able to take with you and put into practice for the rest of your life. So, what is that goal, and what should you expect?
How Long Does EFT Take?
There’s no specific timeline for EFT. Some people may require more sessions than others. Some people may be able to complete the process in about 8-20 sessions. If you’re utilizing it as couple therapy, it may very well take longer depending on the attachment style of each partner, and the readiness and openness to do the work.
Throughout your sessions, you’ll move through stages. Not only will you have work to do during the sessions themselves, but you’ll also learn the skills necessary to continue the work at home, allowing you to move through those stages faster and more effectively.
When Is EFT Considered a Success?
So, how do you and/or your therapist determine when your sessions are “complete”?
In the early stages of EFT, you’ll establish goals. You might have personal goals you want to achieve throughout the process, but you’ll also talk with your therapist about what should be accomplished through each stage.
When you achieve those goals, then it can be said that the therapy was successful. Some common goals people seek to achieve throughout EFT include:
- Increasing awareness of your emotional experience
- Learning healthy coping strategies
- Improving emotional regulation
If you’re in EFT for a relationship or with your family, your goals might also include breaking negative patterns that are sabotaging your connection, and reducing relationship distress as you work to break negative cycles, do repair for attachment injuries and create a stronger emotional bond. In fact, if you wanted to label one defining goal of EFT, achieving secure attachment would probably be it.
What Skills Will You Learn
The skills you learn throughout your sessions will depend on your needs and the negative cycle you are working to change.
However, your sessions will typically try to focus on the growth of two important skills. First, you’ll develop an increased awareness of your own emotions. That increased awareness will eventually help you to feel and share your emotions and learn how to regulate them effectively.
When you learn how to accept your emotions and the information they’re giving you, you can transform them to avoid negative behavioral patterns in your relationships.
If you’ve been interested in EFT for a while but weren’t sure what to expect, keep these end goals in mind. EFT might be a short-term therapy, but it’s meant to deliver life-long results. Feel free to contact me at 561/866-6607 for more information or to set up an appointment for Emotionally Focused Therapy.