Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) can be used for individuals, couples, or families. It’s designed to improve relationships and attachments and can help you break unhealthy patterns in those relationships — even if they began in childhood. 

No matter how you choose to use EFT — even if it’s on your own — there are things you can do to get the most out of it. 

Most importantly, be willing to work with your therapist. Emotionally focused therapy can be somewhat demanding because it asks you to open up and reveal parts of yourself that you might not have considered before. But, if you’re willing to do that and trust your therapist, you’re more likely to experience success. 

Let’s cover a few other tips you can use to get the most out of EFT therapy. 

Show Your Commitment

EFT is a type of short-term therapy. While the experience is different for everyone, you can expect to attend anywhere from 8-20 sessions. Because of its design, it’s essential to commit to the process. 

That means showing up for every session and having a willingness to open up. You also have to commit to learning something new from each session. That might include new ways of communication and connection, but it also might include new ways of understanding your emotions. 

Attendance is important when you’re learning new things. The more those things are repeated and confirmed (every week), the easier it is to make positive, lasting changes. 

Can you choose a more lax schedule when it comes to EFT? Sure. However, the results you’re looking for might take longer, and it can be easy to get frustrated along the way. 

Ask Questions

It’s not uncommon for EFT to bring out emotions you don’t completely understand. You might start feeling things you’ve never felt before. That can be intimidating and might even make you struggle to open up. 

If you want to get the most out of every session, don’t hesitate to ask questions. If you don’t quite understand what you’re feeling, ask about it. Talk about it. Open up to your therapist and let them help you work through it. 

photo of a silhouette of a man sitting on couch holding head in hands who looks stressedBe Willing to Connect

If you’re attending EFT as a couple or as part of a family, one of the best ways to get the most out of it is to talk to the other people there — not just the therapist. Unlike many other types of therapy, EFT sessions might sometimes include two partners or family members facing each other and talking through things in a new way. 

This method can be especially helpful when you’re having problems connecting. Or, when you’re stuck in negative communication patterns. It’s not always easy to open up to the person/people you care about with a third party in the room. But, embracing this step can help you break free from negative patterns and can strengthen your bond with the people you love. 

Find a Therapist You Trust

You’re going to be less likely to stick with EFT therapy if you can’t connect with your therapist. That doesn’t mean you need to be best friends. But, it’s a good idea to do your research ahead of time and have a conversation or two with a potential professional before you decide to commit to multiple sessions. 

The more comfortable you are with the therapist and environment, the easier it will be to stick with the process. 

Show Yourself Compassion

EFT is a process, and while you’re likely to get the most out of it if you stick with these tips, understand that it takes time and effort. There will be times when you’ll have to put in a lot of hard work. 

Do your best to be self-compassionate. You might get frustrated at times, but be sure to pat yourself on the back for the work you’re putting in. Doing so will help you stay motivated. 

Curious about EFT and whether it’s right for you? Contact me for more information.