Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is designed to help you improve attachment and break negative patterns in a relationship. People can enjoy the benefits of EFT on their own, in a romantic relationship, or even as a family.
EFT is considered a short-term therapy. For many people, those words mean “fast results,” and you might be anxious to see some differences quickly. But, how do you actually know EFT is working? What can you expect after a few sessions?
More importantly, what can you expect when your EFT sessions are over? Because of the short-term nature of this therapy, it’s important to carry the principles with you. Let’s take a look at some of the signs EFT is working, so you can find the encouragement to keep going, and to implement more of its principles into your life.
1. You’ve Identified Your Conflict Cycle
One of the first things you’ll do with your therapist in EFT is to identify the cycles and patterns that are creating problems in your relationships. Even if you haven’t yet broken all of those cycles yet, identifying them is half the battle.
EFT should also help you feel more in tune with your own emotions and why you feel the way you do, especially during conflicts. When you have a better understanding of those feelings, you’ll be able to determine why and how they impact your behaviors. It’s the first step toward changing them for the better.
2. You Feel More in Control
When you better understand your emotions, you’ll gain more control over them. No, you can’t choose how you feel. But, you can control how you react and respond to those feelings.
High-intensity feelings like anger or sadness can often be difficult to control. EFT can make it easier to adjust your behaviors. The goal of EFT isn’t to make those emotions go away. It’s to help understand how to manage them in healthy, effective ways.
3. You’re Opening Up More
Emotionally-focused therapy can be difficult for some, at first. You might not be used to opening up about yourself. You might even be ashamed or embarrassed about your attachment issues and how they’ve impacted your relationship.
It’s not uncommon for people going through EFT to hold back at first. You might have even been dishonest with yourself or your therapist in order to save face or increase your comfort.
So, a clear sign that EFT is working is your willingness to open up more often and be more vulnerable. Opening up in EFT is a great way to determine what things might be blocking you from being responsive to your partner, your family, or anyone you might have a relationship with.
4. You’re Expressing Yourself
EFT not only helps you better understand your emotions, but how to express them in healthy ways. If you’ve been caught in a pattern of negativity due to attachment issues or conflicts in your relationship, it’s easy to feel “stuck” in how you express your emotions.
When EFT breaks those patterns, you can feel empowered by the way you start to express yourself and your feelings. You’ll be less likely to focus on the negative, and more likely to problem-solve creative solutions to the patterns that have been holding you back.
Another sign that EFT is working is the relationship you have with your therapist. It’s important to find a therapist that fits your needs, but one who will also guide you through this journey every step of the way. If you’re interested in learning more about emotionally-focused therapy and how it can help, I would love to provide you with that information and schedule an appointment for you.