One of the most common symptoms associated with trauma is guilt. Trauma survivors often feel guilt and shame over their experience, even if they had nothing to do with it. Trauma can lead to low self-esteem and a harsh inner-voice that leads to self-blame and other negative thoughts.
Negative self-talk is hard for anyone to overcome. But, when you’re trying to heal from trauma, it becomes even more difficult.
If you’re having a hard time silencing your inner critic, you’re not alone, but you certainly don’t need to listen to that voice forever. It’s possible to put a stop to negative self-talk as you continue on your healing journey. When you do, you’ll be able to move forward in healthier, more effective ways.
So, how can you quiet the inner voice of doubt and shame?
Be More Mindful
You might be so used to your inner critic that you don’t even realize when it’s taking over, anymore. Being more mindful can help you recognize when those negative thoughts are creeping in.
Identifying those thoughts in real time will give you a better idea of what triggers them. It will also help you move forward to the next step — challenging them.
Fighting Back
Challenging your own negative self-talk isn’t easy. But, mindfulness comes into play again. Most harsh thoughts about yourself probably aren’t based in reality. Mindfulness will help you stay grounded and focused on the present, rather than letting the “what ifs” take hold.
This will help you challenge the validity of the thoughts coming in. When you recognize that they aren’t necessarily true, you can reframe them into something more positive.
Be Kind and Compassionate
Think of how you would treat a friend or family member struggling with a harsh inner critic. If they started speaking negatively about themselves, you would likely do everything you could to build them up and help them silence those thoughts.
Do the same for yourself.
Treat yourself with kindness every day in a variety of ways. That can include things like positive affirmations, starting a gratitude journal, or simply practicing self-care. Everyday habits like exercising or meditating can remind you of your worth and make it easier to show self-compassion.
Be Patient
No matter the type of trauma you experienced and no matter how long ago it was, you likely aren’t going to be able to silence your inner critic overnight.
Remember that it’s a process. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge the progress you make along the way.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Having a support system in your corner can make a big difference. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, so they can drown out whatever negative thoughts are trying to plague you. Those same individuals will be there to hear how you’re feeling and to validate your emotions while helping you overcome negativity.
What’s Next?
If you’re still struggling, consider seeking professional help. Even therapy won’t immediately eliminate negative self-talk. But it’s a healthy stepping stone that will make it easier to silence your inner critic for good.
Trauma therapy will help you better understand your trauma and your triggers. It will also help you learn how to overcome negative self-talk and the damaging thoughts that have kept you from truly healing until now.
Overcoming the effects of trauma is a journey, often made more difficult by negative feelings and a loud inner critic. But, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Feel free to contact me with any questions you might have or to set up an appointment soon.