No parent is perfect. But, if you were raised by a caregiver who provided for your physical and emotional needs, you were likely able to develop a secure attachment. That often reflects positively later in life when it comes to how you see yourself and how you approach relationships.
Narcissistic parents make it difficult to form healthy attachments from a young age. They are often too focused on themselves. As a child, your needs and feelings may have been ignored or disregarded as invalid. As you might expect, that can take a serious toll on your well-being into adulthood.
Let’s dig deeper into the emotional impact of being raised by a narcissistic parent, and what you can do about it now to make a change.
Low Self-Esteem
One of the biggest issues people with narcissistic parents tend to face is a negative perception of themselves. Everyone struggles with low self-esteem now and then. But, if it’s something that never leaves you, it’s important to ask yourself why.
Do you think your feelings don’t matter? Are you flawed, not good enough, or somehow unworthy of care? It’s not uncommon for children of narcissistic parents to believe the negative things their parents said about them or the messages that were conveyed throughout childhood.
You might even look back and try to blame yourself for your parent’s behavior. If you think you could have done something differently, or if you tend to do whatever your parents want now to gain their approval, it’s a major red flag that they were more concerned about themselves than you throughout your childhood.
People-Pleasing
It’s likely not just your parents that you want to impress or make happy. You might be a people-pleaser, in general. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to help others, when you make sacrifices that are detrimental to your own well-being, it’s a problem.
You have to prioritize your own needs first. If you feel like you need to gain approval from others by going out of your way to do things for them, you have to ask yourself where that idea might come from.
Codependency
The reason why so many people raised by narcissists tend to want to please others is because they crave validation.
If your feelings were ignored or invalidated as a child, you might be willing to do whatever it takes to feel valued as an adult. Unfortunately, this can lead to codependent relationships. Codependency often causes unhealthy imbalances in a relationship, and can open you up to physical or emotional abuse.
Mental Health Issues
Constantly worrying about not being good enough, struggling with low self-esteem, and feeling a bit hopeless about what the future holds can be overwhelming, to say the least. As a result, it’s easy for those raised by a narcissistic parent to develop mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Anxiety can come from the anticipation of what might happen next, and it will usually cause you to focus on the worst-case scenario. If you’re struggling with emotional dysregulation or you still feel neglected, that anxiety can quickly transform into depression. Unfortunately, both of these mental health issues often work in cycles, making your symptoms worse and causing you to feel even less worthy of emotional validation.
One of the best ways to combat these negative issues is to work with a mental health professional. It’s not always easy to think back about your childhood if you dealt with a narcissistic parent. But, it’s the first step toward truly healing. Thankfully, you don’t have to go through it alone.
If you’re ready to take that step, I will walk with you every step of the way. Contact me today to set up an appointment for anxiety counseling.