We all have priorities to invest our time in like doing well at our jobs, taking care of kids, and managing our finances. But, what about investing in your relationship?
Couples may believe that if you are in a committed relationship, just living under the same roof is enough. However, it’s still important to devote time to the one you love.
According to research from The Gottman Institute, dedicating a minimum of six hours a week for your partner can help foster and maintain connections. These six hours could be broken down into several daily and weekly interactions.
Luckily, it’s not too difficult to find the time to be with your partner as long as the two of you are willing to commit to each other.
The Importance of Investing Your Time in Each Other
You and your partner may want to devote time to each other, but life gets in the way. You have work, attending school meetings, and other obligations. It feels like an impossible mission to get some alone time together.
It is important to remember that while these other obligations are important, so are our relationships. We are allowed to fit in some fun and connection while still doing the things we need to do.
The two of you can talk about when the best times are to get together in general. Just like you’d casually ask a friend out for coffee.
Brainstorm a List of Times
There are only so many hours during the day. Talk with your partner to brainstorm activities you want to do together when you have time.
This list can be things like more date nights, cuddle times on the couch, vacations, and more. Once you come up with this list, prioritize the items based on when they’re achievable. As long as making time for each other is what you two want, you can make it work.
Making Changes
Another thing you can think about is if there is anything you can change to fit in more time for each other. It could be things like finding room to take vacation from work and the kids. You can adjust your work schedules to see if one of you can go to work earlier and come back earlier.
If TVs, computers, and phones are cutting in time to talk to your partner, cut off the electronics after a certain point. Once the electronics are off, you can use this time to talk about your day and anything else going on. Look into hiring a babysitter or asking a family member to watch your kids on the weekend or a weeknight so you can have more date nights.
You will be surprised at all the leftover time you two will have for each other once you analyze the scope of the day.
Build Daily Habits
There are some activities that you do not even have to make time for. Some habits can very easily fit in your schedules. For example, a new habit can be scheduling a regular date night every Friday or Saturday. You can also make a vow to speak to each other for 15 minutes once the two of you come home from work. Plan weekly lunches during your work breaks. Buy tickets for movies or concerts to make planned commitments.
Even though we have 24 hours in the day, it does not mean we should take them for granted or that we can’t fit important time with our partner in. Investing your time in a relationship will show your partner how much you mean to them and how grateful you are for what they have given you. If you find that you have created schedules that don’t include each other, and there is some reluctance to finding time to be together, perhaps there is some unacknowledged pain, resentment or frustration that needs to be talked out in therapy. Let me know if I can help you find your way back to each other.
Click here for more information on Couples Therapy.